The Writer’s in the Pub: Song & Lyrics


Ben Johnson, Christopher ‘Kit’ Marlow and Gabriel Spencer are the writer’s in the pub who love to drink, kill and get arrested. Shakespeare, however, prefers to focus on his writing and finance more, but it’ll be him who ends up with success!

Song from Series 7 Episode 1: Sensational Shakespeare Special.

Below are the rough lyrics from the song. We don’t have the full lyrics until the episode airs on Tuesday 19th April at 4:30PM on CBBC.


Yo! Yo! Put down your quill

This show is about to get real!

Writer’s in the house.

Drop a beat!


You can call me Jonson I’m straight out of jail

I scribble down my things so that I can post bail.

I wrote thirty plays, I’m a lyrical saviour.

Got sent to prison for my lewd behaviour.


Christopher Marlow, street name ‘Kit’.

Did time in Holland ‘cos my cash was counterfeit.

Mention I’m a spy and you’re gonna get hit-

Obviously I can’t talk about that bit!


S to the P to the E to the ENCER,

Spencer, ah-ah, ah-ah! More like a fencer.

Stabbed a man but I’m claiming self-defence, yeah.

To the writer’s in the pub, things are getting tenser!


I am Shakespeare, I’m working hard on my writing,

I’ve got sound investments, and I’m not into fighting.

My plays are wild, but I’m financially prudent,

They want to go to prison, but personally I wouldn’t.


Listen up bro! I killed a man who was armed with some candles.

I’d fight a duel if you wore the wrong sandals.

I’m in jail so much that I’m wearing out my cuffs.

You can call us writers but we’re just a bunch of roughs!


I am Shakespeare, I do the job properly.

Building my plays and a portfolio of property.

I want to write the greatest plays ever

But staying out of trouble, would seem to be clever.


No, no, no, no way! I’m gonna die drunk in a fight!

Keep it real, he’s gonna kill me for a slight.

I’m fighting so often, there’s barley time to write,

Forget about the quill we’ll be up all night!


Interesting. Her majesty, Queen Elizabeth the First:

I’m Queen, L to the I to the Z.

I’m ruling this land from the sea to the sea.

Shakespeare’s plays are the plays I wanna see.

So drop another Falstaff ting on me!


King James, her successor, feeling just the same.

I like them so much that I’m giving him my name.

The King’s Men-the greatest in the land.

Isn’t this nice-turned out grand.