The Monarchs’ Song: Song & Lyrics

The Kings and Queens of England sing a bit about themselves in an extra long song, with a list of every single monarch for the chorus, a challenge to learn it by heart!

Song from Series 3 Episode 2.


LYRICS:

I’m William the Conqueror
My enemies stood no chance.
They call me the first English king
Although I come from France.

Ten Sixty Six, the Doomsday book
I gave to history.
So fat on death my body burst,
But enough about me!

To help remember all your kings
I’ve come up with this song-
A simple rhyming ditty
For you all to sing along….Oh!

William!
(Bit short init? We need more kings. Who came next?)

William second, cheeks were red-
Killed out hunting, so it’s said.
I took over, Henry one.
That’s my next eldest son.

Then King Stephen, it’s true check it!
Hi, Henry two, killed Thomas Beckett
Richard Lionheart? That’s right!
Always spoiling for a fight.

Oh King John, what a disaster-
Rule restrained by Magna Carta!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Time for my mate, King Henry eight
To take up this song

Henry three built the abbey,
Ed one hated Scots.
A red hot poker killed Ed two,
That must have hurt him lots!

Edward third was a chivalry nerd
Began the hundred years war.
Then Richard two was king aged ten,
Then Henry, yes one more.

King Henry four, plots galore
Not least from Henry five, why?
Killed ten score at Agincourt
Then Henry six arrived.

Edward four, Edward five,
Richard the third, he’s bad.
‘Cause he fought wars with Henry seventh,
First Tudor and my dad.

So Henry eight, I was great
Six wives, two were beheaded.
Edward the sixth came next
But he died young and so my dreaded
Daughter Mary ruled, so scary,
Then along came… me!
I’m Liz the first, I had no kids
So Tudors RIP.

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
That’s me, time for more men.

James six of Scotland next
As England’s James the first he led.
Then Stuarts ruled, so Charles the first
The one who lost his head!

No monarchy until came me-
Charles two, I liked to party!
King Jimmy two was scary, woooh,
Then Mary was a smarty.

She ruled with Bill, their shoes were filled
By sourpuss Queen Anne Gloria,
And so from then, you were ruled by men.
‘Till along came me Victoria!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
Still to come, it’s Queen Victoria!

And so began the Hanover gang
George one and George two (grim).
Then George the third was quite absurd
Till I replaced old him!

King George the fourth and known henceforth
As angry, fat and cross (hang on).
It’s true you beat Napoleon,
But for mostly a dead loss (bang on).

Old William four was a sailor (ahoy).
It’s nearly the end of the story-a
As onto the scene comes the best loved queen-
Hail to Queen Victoria!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
George, George, George, George
Will, Victoria
…Victoria…Victoria…Victoria…

(I ruled for sixty four years, you know.)

Ed seven, George five,
Then Ed, George sixth,
Liz two then reigned and how!
And so our famous monarch song
Is brought right up to now, oh…!

William, William, Henry, Stephen
Henry, Richard, John, oi!
Henry, Ed, Ed, Ed, Rich two
Then three more Henrys join our song
Edward, Edward, Rich the third
Henry, Henry, Ed again
Mary one, good Queen Bess
Jimmy, Charles and Charles and then
Jim, Will, Mary, Anna Gloria
George, George, George, George
Will, Victoria
Edward, George, Edward, George six
And Queen Liz two completes the mix!

That’s all the English Kings and Queens
Since William first that there have been!


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